?

Log in

Victoria
03 September 2020 @ 11:08 pm
Sorry, this journal is for friends only.

Want to be added?
- introduce yourself through a comment
- we should have something in common
- if you did not leave a comment, I will not add you
 
 
Victoria
07 April 2011 @ 09:05 pm
Even if it's probably my 5th time going to the Philippine Heart Center to have my routine check-ups and tests, somehow I always feel nervous, even if I give an excuse it's just so chilly, well in reality, it really is so cold in there (or maybe the cold is making me nervous, LOL). And every time my doctor checks my blood pressure, he always says it's too high because I'm always anxious (I'm trying my best to control it though). But one thing I don't like is that my mom always has to accompany me and every time she's with me, I always get too awkward to say something to my doctor because she's always the one who reports to my doctor what's happening to me, and that sometimes, she makes up stories and she even emphasizes the fact that I'm too sedentary and I rarely get to do anything strenuous. It's not the whole truth though, and she does not even understand my condition, and yet, she keeps on assuming things. But then anyway, even if my doctor says my BP's too high for my age, he says that I'm getting better. After he checked my BP, he asked his assistant to do an ECG test on me. As soon as the results were printed, I was amazed at the fact that he just scanned through the entire sheet and told me nothing's wrong. Whoa! It only took him a couple of seconds to read the graph and he gave an interpretation right away!! XDD He even told me why don't I do some sports again. I couldn't tell him why I was not able to go back to strenuous activities because I'm afraid I might just be giving excuses, so I did not say anything.

Well, I dunno. Maybe I just lack the confidence to try to go back to sports. It has been almost four months after my operation and yet, I'm still not used to the changes. Every now and then I still think that my condition will go back even if my doctor keeps telling me that he's very sure that it won't get worse. Maybe it's time I should really trust in him and start believing in myself more. He's so optimistic. I'm so ashamed of myself for doubting. =((

Anyway, it's been months since I've last been there, and I really miss that place. Too bad I can't visit the hospital building because of strict rules. Oh well. =((
 
 
Victoria
10 February 2011 @ 10:23 pm
It's been almost a week since the retreat and I already miss those days. I missed the good times. I missed how welcome I felt back then. I missed how I was able to open up to people I only knew during those 3 days. I missed how you called me "ate". I missed the way you smiled and waved at me even though we barely knew each other...and right now, it feels as if we're strangers again; as if we never talked to each other during the retreat...

If I could turn back time, I would go back to those days again and correct my mistakes...

If only...GAH...what a coward I am! I had everything planned out, I even asked a friend's help (I even had three choices!). But no! Look at what happened! Here I am regretting so much. I hated the fact it was supposed to be a retreat and a way for me to let go of my problems, but I only added them! UGH.

Was there something I did back then? I don't quite remember doing something that changed your impression of me. I was just being myself; I was just being too happy because that's about the main point of me joining the retreat, isn't it? And now things are very awkward for me; I don't even know how to approach you anymore...things have drastically changed...or so I thought.

Maybe I'm just mistaken. Maybe I'm just thinking too much. I dunno. I hope so. I hope everything's gonna be better.

Just what Ms. Myrna told me, I have to learn to trust God. I have to offer to Him all my worries. I have to let go and let Him do what He wants.
 
 
Current Mood: discontentdiscontent
 
 
Victoria
26 June 2010 @ 07:34 pm
I hope it's all okay. XDD

 
 
Victoria
25 May 2010 @ 08:25 pm
Do you have any recurring dreams? If so, what do you think it says about your personality? How about your unconscious hopes, fears, and desires?


There's this one recurring dream in which I live alone in some sort of a dormitory and the people living in the nearby rooms are those who I don't recognise because all I see are silhouettes. My room has either a double-deck bed or a four-poster, I can't really tell, plus there are no curtains at all and I see a small television in the center of the room. I can always feel the cold air inside, for some weird reason. And every time I go outside, I either use the elevator or the secret staircase of sorts.

I guess it clearly shows that most of the time I prefer to be alone, doing all the things I want without people bugging me or anything. I think the secret staircase shows that I don't want to get in the way of people's business or maybe because I don't want to be seen by people who I'm not accustomed to be with.
 
 
 
Victoria
08 December 2009 @ 08:04 pm
I don't know if it was just a weird dream or something like a nightmare, 'cause I woke up frightened. It was quite short, but I could remember most of the details.

My friend and I were in a school that looked like Ateneo and SPCP put together; it was quite weird; the classroom was the same as the one in Ateneo High School, and the outside was exactly the parking lot of SPCP, the one outside the Gym. I remembered the both of us talking to each other and laughing around, and somehow we forgot that there were other people inside the room. It was like we were trapped in our own little world (LOL, I know what you're thinking, but seriously, that's how it is in my dream. =P), being a little too friendly (you know what I mean =P) I feel so embarrassed writing about this...=)) *gets shot*. And then right after that, time just skipped. I found that my things were scattered on the floor, and as soon as I returned them to my bag, my friend just walked away, leaving me behind. She didn't even say goodbye or anything. I wanted to catch up to her so we could walk together, but I couldn't move an inch. I wanted to know why she didn't tell me that she was already going home, and I felt so frustrated why I couldn't do anything about it. I just stared at her retreating figure, and the last person I saw was her mother walking beside her. At that moment, I felt so lonely. I felt so bad not being able to do anything. I don't know why my legs wouldn't listen to me. I really could not move. And as soon as I was completely alone, I suddenly woke up. I don't know the exact word for it, but the feeling is as if I woke up from a nightmare.

I don't know why I had this dream. Maybe it's telling me something. I'm not really sure.

I wonder what's in store for me again later. I hope I'll have a good dream this time. =))
 
 
Current Mood: curiouscurious
 
 
Victoria
I really hate it when the teacher tells us that we can group ourselves according to friends. It's unfair, especially if there are odd numbers of students, and even more if the number of friends in your "barkada" is also odd. Then those who are left behind are the ones who have no choice but to be with the others. Ugh. And this ALWAYS happens to me. And I'm so pissed off. It has been like this since grade school.

It's not that I totally hate my Physics Lab group, it's just that only TWO of my group mates are the ones who are doing the job, and that they don't even update the other two on what they should do. So right now, I'm not doing anything whereas all the rest of my block mates are doing the lab report. Two of my group mates aren't even online right now. So what do I do now? I'm sure that they already finished it but still! I don't care if it's already finished. I want to at least do my part, or even feel that I did something. But NO!! They did not even TELL me what I was supposed to do. And now that I can't ask them anymore. But even if I do, they're not even REPLYING to my messages.

This is supposed to be a GROUP work, right? And we all know that in a group, EVERYONE should have SOMETHING to do, even if it's a small part.

What happened to the TEAMWORK, huh?!?!

Dammit.

I'm begging you, Sir Ong! PLEASE make the lab reports an INDIVIDUAL work. PLEASE.
 
 
Current Mood: pissed offpissed off
 
 
Victoria
04 November 2009 @ 09:03 am
I checked my email earlier this morning, and the first thing I saw was Sir Pira's email and I went O___O at the subject! He posted those who are to take the removal exam on Friday! Feeling nervous, I clicked on it and read the list of students...

As I was going through the list, I thought to myself, "Am I not mistaken?? I'm supposed to be here.". I read the list over and over again...and yes, I AM NOT ON THE LIST!!!

You know what that means, right??

YES!!

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!! I PASSED COMPUTING 2!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I've heard a lot of students say that if you pass Computing 2 under Sir Pira, that means you're really fit to be a programmer (lol yeah right).

(Well, hopefully, 'cause the reason why there are removal exams is that when you pass, you pass the course, if not, then sorry DD:)

Ack!

Okay, I'm not supposed to be jumping to conclusions here, but I'm just saying the possibility. LOL

But at least I've got a higher chance of passing now. =P

Dang. All along I thought my program had an error from the moment you run it. Phew.

I couldn't remember how I did it, but if it wasn't for that loop I created, I wouldn't be able to do it. I've been always bad at Loops in programming; I may do understand the concept, but I couldn't get it done properly.

If you guys are curious, the program was to make a sort-of "Jigsaw Puzzle" in which users upload photos, then they can rearrange them in any order they want, then the photos are resized and viewed according to the order they put in. At first I did not understand what it means to "rearrange according to the preference of the user"; if it would be that the user will arrange the photos after viewing them or arrange the photos upon uploading them. What I did was I placed a text box beside the upload box, and that one is for the order, i.e., if I want to upload 5 photos, then I upload one and type "5", and another one but this time, I typed "2", then the photos would be on their respective positions on the table, meaning that the photo with the sequence of "2" will appear before the one with "5". Although I'm not sure if that's the correct way of doing it. =)) There might have been a better and easier way. =))

Okay. I need to shut up now. I still have other subjects to worry about. =|
 
 
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
 
 
Victoria
03 November 2009 @ 08:35 am
Okay. I'm a bit disappointed.

Gah.

Oh wait, what am I talking about?

There's nothing I can do anyway.

Oh well, that's life. XDD

*And lol, this isn't about my real life.*

Move along now. =))
 
 
Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed
 
 
Victoria
01 November 2009 @ 01:21 am
Since I'm (still) fangirling on Utada Hikaru right now, I did this: (LOL for the fail edit)



The picture on the left was her hairstyle last year when she promoted her latest Japanese album, 'Heart Station', and the picture on the right is how she looks like recently, that's her hairstyle in her newest English album 'This is the One'. She looks a whole lot cuter on the left picture! DD: Not that I don't like her new look, though. Ugh. XDDD I miss the "boyish" Hikki!! DDD:

On the other hand, I know this is an old "issue", but I really ship these two:

Be warned. Massive fangirling up ahead.Collapse )

Anyway, that's the end of my fangirl post. XDDD Hope you didn't find it too long or anything. XD
 
 
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: Utada Hikaru - Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence-FYI-